Too Cool For School? Too Tall For Lockers??

Too Cool For School? Too Tall For Lockers??

Peter Pappas, Writer


Have you ever seen a person over six feet tall have to crouch down to get to their bottom locker? Have you ever seen a short person have to get on their tippy toes to get to their top locker? Well, maybe you haven’t seen these absurd things; perhaps it is because you haven’t even been to Ipswich High School. Here, the lockers are assigned by alphabetical order rather than height.  For years, it has been the policy of Ipswich High School to assign incoming Freshmen lockers purely based on where their last name falls in the alphabet.

Mr. Carovillano, Vice Principal at Ipswich High, says that, “Occasionally students have special needs or have an interpersonal problem with another student and request to move their lockers.” But, he does not mention that people who are vertically challenged deserve special treatment. Little does he know, science proves him wrong! For many years, the Ipswich Administration has had a tendency to ignore scientific data that proves that kids who are significantly vertically challenged have struggled with inappropriately assigned lockers.

Does the Ipswich Administration think it is a good thing for a teenager to have back problems?  Jack Reynolds, an IHS sophomore, said, “It’s extremely easy for a teenager to have back problems. In fact, I wake up with back problems all the time… Having a bottom locker for my two years in high school probably hasn’t helped my case either.” Jack is an Ipswich High School student who stands at six feet, three inches. He meets with Rick Silverman downtown for a weekly check up on his sore back for physical therapy. Jack says, “I think maybe Ipswich High School should start paying for these weekly checkups; you think?” This sounds bad now, but imagine what it will be like when he is an adult and will no longer be growing.

Science today proves that 44% of people who are six feet plus will experience lower back pain if they are bending over and crouching down a lot throughout their lives. Therefore, he will most likely have these back problems for the rest of his life all because of the lockers being assigned the WRONG WAY!

The backpack policy doesn’t really help the situation either. Ipswich High strictly enforces that students do not carry a backpack around to each of their classes for “security reasons.” But people only carry their backpacks around for their convenience. Like what happens when a student is over six feet tall and trying to rush to their (BOTTOM) locker right before lunch because lunch is only a half hour long? Well they’ll have to wait in line to get to their locker! Something just doesn’t make sense about that situation!

There is a solution to this. That solution concludes that the Ipswich Administration can start assigning lockers the right way, by height rather than alphabetical order. Every child over five feet, ten inches deserves special treatment and should get a top locker if they want one. Every child under five feet should get a bottom locker if they want one. Everyone else, those who are vertically average, can fight for lockers when they assign the rest by alphabetical order, lottery, or however else they decide to assign them.